Intro

You open your eyes quickly, hoping nobody saw you doze off for a minute there. A quick look around the office confirms this is the case, your coworkers are either dozing off themselves, or immersed in games on their cell phones.

The scene being safe, you decide to stop fighting your eyelids as they drift downwards. You barely had any sleep last night, and it's effecting your ability to care about this job. Not that you ever did to begin with, the severe lack of attractive co-workers, the poor pay, and the fact that you are a data-entry professional all sap your desire to try hard at work. You ease back off into sleep, resting your head on your desk, when you feel a rough pat on the back.

“Are you ok, Danny?” a voice asks. Shit, the boss.

You sit up quickly, and try your best to look like you weren't just asleep on the job. “Everything's fine, sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night, and I'm paying for it today.”

Your boss is a total pushover, probably why you sleep so much more at work than at home. He sits down on an empty desk behind the workstation you were using as a sleep station, and frowns. Jeff is short, no more than 5 and a half feet tall, has a growing bald spot that makes a mockery of his comb over, and a creepy mustache that looks like he borrowed it from a pedophile. His attempts to sound like he cares always come off as insincere, soap-opera quality acting at best, and he always seems to buy whatever bullshit excuses his employees give him.

“What's wrong, buddy?” Jeff asks, holding a mug that says “World's Second Best Boss!” in an attempt to show a self-deprecating sense of humor that he doesn't actually have. On the same token, he certainly doesn't have the distinction of being in the top 10 of bosses in this department, much less the whole world. You've often thought of smashing his mug and replacing it with one that says “Boss of mediocre quality, at best.” But those don't seem to be in stock anywhere you check.

“Well...” you begin. Should you tell him the truth? That might get you in trouble you realize, thinking of a realistic excuse. Then again, why not just tell him some hilarious bullshit? What are you going to pick?

Why are you so sleep deprived?


 * “The new baby is keeping us up all night!” go to BABY
 * “I spent the evening avenging the death of my father.” go to VENGEANCE
 * “I got drunk and watched Chopped until 4 A.M.” go to CHOPPED