Baby

from Intro

Your mind fumbles for an explanation. The truth is that you stayed up all night, trying to close the deal with a really, really ugly chick. You had hoped that she would be an easy lay, what with her being fat and all. But it turned out that she had been hurt before, and wanted to talk to you at length about that instead. You didn't wind up getting to bed until nearly 4 in the morning, and for nothing!

While searching for an idea, you notice on your finger is a plastic fake wedding band. It was part of your contrived and ridiculous plan to pick up women. You had heard that women flock to guys with a wedding ring, but that turned out to be bullshit. Wait, wedding ring...

“My baby kept us up all night. He has colic now.” You say. Jeff barely knew you, and had never bothered to ask if you were married, had kids, or were just a single and happy bachelor.

Jeff's neutral face instantly sours. You realize how stupid this lie is, and you should have just told him you were trying to avenge the death of your father. It wasn't nearly as believable, but at least that would have made a funny story.

“Oh, shut up already, Danny!” He says, becoming emotional for the first time since you started working at this company two weeks ago.

“Huh?” You manage to sputter out.

“You goddamn breeders, you don't even realize how lucky you are to even be able to have kids. My partner and I want nothing more than a little one, but we can't! Meanwhile, you're sitting here, bitching about it! The world is so, fucking, unfair.” Jeff says, his face turning red.

“Ugh... what?”

“I'm sick of people whining about their kids, and you know what? I'm going to fucking do something about it, starting with you, mister man!”

“What the fuck?” You whisper, but Jeff isn't listening. In fact, instead of listening, Jeff is reaching inside his jacket. A second later, a gun appears seemingly from nowhere in his hand. “Jeff? Jeff... what the fuck?

“I've had it with these motherfucking straights, in my motherfucking office!” He yells. You close your eyes, and there is a loud crack. In a blind panic, you open your eyes and find...

''Well? What happened?''


 * If it's pretty much exactly what you expected, go to SAVED!
 * If it's something you weren't expecting, go to NOT SAVED!