Chopped

from Intro

“Can I level with you, man to man?” You ask, hoping this will somehow ease the impact of the incredibly stupid bit of honesty you are about to have.

“Sure thing Dan, what is it?” Jeff says, leaning back a bit, as if to prepare for disbelief.

“So, you know how I love Chopped, right? Well last night I missed the new episode, and I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up and watched the repeat.” You say, regretting immediately how stupid that sounds. You should have sold him the silly line about the baby.

“I don't understand, the reason why you're falling asleep at work today... and why you reek of alcohol, is because you missed your favorite show last night?” Jeff asks, not quite sure how to take it.

 “Honestly, yes. And I can't watch Chopped unless I pre-game. It's kind of a big deal for me.”

“That's pathetic.” Jeff says, no longer paying attention.

“It's the truth.”

“Well, Dan, this doesn't look good for you. You pull this kind of shit all the time. You are always late, and when you do show up here, you try to leave early, doze off at your desk, and you do terrible work. I've tried to be understanding, but I'm going to fire you if this ever happens again.”

You sigh. While he isn't incorrect, it should be noted that this job can suck a bag of dicks. You don't need this kind of bullshit from a job that pays $9.25 an hour.

“Got anything to say Dan? You know, before I go do the write up on this?”

Instantly, you smile and clear your throat. But what to say? You can try to smooth it over, be diplomatic, apologize, and he'll probably avoid writing you up. After all, even though this job is a complete waste of your prodigious skills, it's the best one you've been able to find after foolishly completing a degree in history.

On the other hand, you've got a lot of pent up aggression. Also, you just got a 500 dollar tax return, which you're pretty sure you can live off of for three months. So it's not even like you really need this job, right?

What do you say?


 * To apologize, turn on the charm, and plead for your job, go to CHARM 
 * To go yell “Eat shit and die!” while punching Jeff in the mouth, go to EAT SHIT