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from Baby

You feel a hot splatter hit you, and you grit your teeth and continue to clench your eyes closed. After a second or two of not feeling any pain, you begin to peel an eye open. Where Jeff stood is now a gory mess, and there's a mutilated torso laying on the desk in front of you. It takes you a second, but you realize that it's Jeff laying there, pathetically, against the empty desk.

There is a long, sad screeching sound as his body slides slowly towards the ground, before finally flopping onto the carpeted floor. You begin to breathe a little more easily and turn around, to see what the hell happened.

 Behind you is a beautiful girl, her milky white hands holding a smoking assault rifle. You access the part of your brain that's prestiged 10 times over in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, and realize it's an AK-47.

“That's a nice gun.” You say, instantly wishing to take it back. That was stupid.

“... Right. I take it you're Danny?” She says, looking at you like you're an idiot. But even so, you notice her piercing green eyes, and her melodic voice, and don't mind being talked down to.

You smile despite the gore on your only suit. “Yes. And you are?”

She brushes some of her curly red hair out of her face. “I'm you. Kind of.”

Now you really are confused. You weren't paying a lot of attention this morning, but you were almost positive you didn't wake up as a smoking hot firecrotch. “Huh?” You manage to utter.

“I'm from a different interpretation of the space time continuum, where you were born a girl.” She says. “But that's not important. You need to come with me, now.”

 This does little to assuage your confusion. There's no way you'd ever have looked like her, even if you were born a girl. Your mother is 3 rd generation Chinese, and your father is from Mexico. Danny looks like a Celtic Goddess, and you're Mexicasian. “Uh...” You reply after processing this information.

“Just get your fucking coat and walk behind me.” Danny says. Given that she has an assault rifle, you comply. While you are walking out of your office, you notice your co-workers emerging from underneath their desks, speaking in hushed voices while they stare at you and your armed girl self walk out the door and into the elevator.

As you step into the elevator, it occurs to you that this may be a terrible idea. You've been kidnapped by a woman who claims to be you, who just walked into your office building and shot somebody. Granted, that guy was about to shoot you, and she is really hot. But your rational mind forces in a few thoughts, and you realize how insanely dangerous this situation is. The elevator doors slide shut and you begin going towards the ground floor.

“Danny, that's not a girl's name?” You ask.

“It's short for Danielle.” She replies, not paying any attention. You realize that inside her leather jacket, she has 10 more magazines strapped to her waist, along with a pistol and a knife. “She means business” you think to yourself.

 But now's your chance. You're standing behind her, and even though she's very, very armed, she's also a foot shorter than you, and barely weighs anything at all. You could take her, easily. After all, she hasn't said a sane thing since you met her 30 seconds ago. She also kind of looks like she's going to reenact The Matrix on her way out of the office building in a few minutes, an idea that you're not comfortable with.

On the other hand, you were bored this morning. This certainly is the opposite of boring. If you stay with her, who knows, maybe she'll let you touch her boobs later?

<p style="margin-bottom:0in">So, what's the plan?


 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in">To shut up and hope for the best, go to SHUT UP 
 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in">To try to take her down now, while you can, go to PUNCHOUT
 * <p style="margin-bottom:0in">To just go for it, and grab her perfect ass with both hands, go to GRABASSS